Mask
by Dizzyy
Summary: One-shot. Naruto's thoughts behind his mask, and his conflict with it.


This is my first one-shot, and it probably isn't all that great. But enjoy anyway. ^^

**MASK**

What did I feel toward my teammates? Not hatred, but I certainly did not find them pleasant or nice to be around. No, I did not find anyone in this village nice to be around. Perhaps the owners of Ichiraku Ramen, who really were the only people who were genuinely nice to me. The Hokage, after discovering fortune and heritage and realizing I did not have to eat from garbage cans as a little boy, had lost my trust. Iruka was an at first spiteful ANBU assigned by the Sandaime to watch over me, who eventually grew to like me. He was a shinboi though, so I was always wary of him.

Although I really didn't like anyone, I did not want them to worry about me and become close to me again, only to stab me in the back. It was because of this that I developed a mask. I hid all the pain, the hurt, the betrayals, the anger, anything and everything negative behind that mask. And what I really thought, I hid that too. I developed a new personality, became a new person, for everyone else and for me.

Was it fair?

Of course not. Life is not fair, my definitely isn't. But I gave up self-pity long ago.

It wasn't, after all, part of my mask.

X

I wanted to say to everyone, "I don't care if Sasuke dies. He can jump off a bridge for all I care." But no, I couldn't break my mask. My heroic non-self would not allow it. And instead, all the bottled-up anger from the taunts of the villagers exploded inside me and Kyuubi influenced me. What was this? This rush of power? Did Sasuke's death unlock this? Why? I don't care about him.

I don't.

X

I felt a surge of desperation, trying to fight off this strange snake guy. He touched my seal with glowing fingertips, and I was unconscious. Why was I worried about what would happen to my teammates? I didn't care.

I woke up, and saw Sakura fending off Oto-nin. Was she going to be alright? I wondered why I thought that? Why?

Why, why, why.

X

I needed to save Sasuke from Gaara.

No, I needed to save Konoha.

Not even. I needed to save myself.

But my mask needed to save everyone else, and I think my mask is slowly devouring me. Transforming me. I'll be my own person. I can hate them if I want to. I can hate.

I can, I can, I can.

But I don't.

X

I'm bringing Konoha's next Hokage back. Why would I? The village has done nothing for me. My mask told me to, but a part of me says, it feels great to help! I don't understand why I felt so determined to prove to Tsunade I would be the next Hokage, why I trained on the Rasengan nonstop till I could get it right, why I felt so happy and gratified when she gave me the necklace.

I fought Sannin for Konoha.

My mask fought Sannin for Konoha.

Yes, that's right.

X

Why bring him back? I don't want to. I don't want to team up with them and pretend to be worried about everyone else when I'm really worried about myself. Am I worried about myself? Why did I look back without my mask telling me to when I left Chouji and Neji and Shikamaru and Kiba and Lee then?

Why did I go on to save my teammate from the darkness when for all I care he can go and jump into a black pit of dark and be consumed by it?

Did I care? No. I didn't.

I really, really didn't.

Then why?

Why did it hurt so badly when he said he hated me, and Konoha, and everyone?

Was it my mask, or was it me?

I can't tell anymore.

X

It felt good to leave on the trip with Jiraiya, because I would not see all of my 'friends' for two years. But my mask said no, no, no, we will miss them. _We? _Just him, not me. Just my mask.

Not me.

X

Akatsuki is a threat to me.

Akatsuki is a threat to my village and my comrades.

The first one was most important, me, me, me.

Why did I worry so much more about my village then? Why did I think I would sacrifice myself for the village?

It was my mask.

But it was me.

No. Just my mask.

Just the mask.

X

Devastated. No more explaining. Konoha was gone. I was horrified. I felt like crying. My mask felt like crying. I didn't. I still don't.

Then why did I convince Nagato? Why did I speak from the bottom of my heart? Why was I elated when Konoha was restored, and Kakashi-sensei and Hinata and everyone dead was restored?

Because, as it turned out, I did love Konoha and the people in it.

Not my mask. Me.

Me, me, me.

**END**

Just a random one-shot that came to mind. I hope you liked it. Reviews are appreciated. By the way, flames don't count as constructive criticism. At least put something helpful in there. Thanks, bye.


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